Johnesha, did you look down on other single moms before you became one?
Absolutely not! I remember my best friend's mom asked me this question. I was almost offended because I know many single moms and I've never judged them. It's just that I am a planner and this was unplanned. I don't do well with unplanned lol. In college I wrote out my schedule every night for the next day in one hour increments. So I had a plan and I was working hard at making it a reality. An analogy that comes to mind is a person who wanted to be an astronaut but for whatever reason they became a mechanical engineer instead. Engineers are smart and amazing but if that wasn't THEIR dream for THEIR life they may be a little disappointed.... So they have to take time to adjust to their new reality.
Was it hard for me to adjust? Heck yeah! I had zero reference point of what that life looked like. I grew up with both of my parents so that's the life I knew. Therefore I could not imagine anything different. Sadly I had never truly tried to feel what other single moms were going through. Only now do I have serious conversations with friends who grew up in single parent homes or with step parents or are single parents themselves. So everything that came after having Imani was different than anything I've ever dreamed or thought of for my life.
Honestly I still struggle with believing this is my life. I struggle with surrendering my life to God and believing that he can turn my mess into a masterpiece. But there's so much purpose in this place. I can now relate to so many more people with the experiences I'm living through. It feels good when someone calls me to talk about similar experiences and I can truly empathize and relate.